Thursday, July 3, 2014

How Long

How long will love flow like the ocean in me? 
How many tears are left to fill it over and over 
Keep it rushing faithfully 
Senselessly 
Shamelessly 
Predictably 
To you 

How long will my heart be controlled by the moon 
Doing what damage to those who build too close 
It wants, raging dutifully 
Ruthlessly 
Unapologetically 
Inevitably 
For you 

How long will I wait for you to walk my sands 
That were once immortal unbreakable stone
I'm always here, replacing tirelessly 
Impossibly 
Undauntedly 
Amazingly 
The past 
With you 

Write your name in me. 

(c) Colleen Lloyd 
Just now 
Hurricane, Utah 
for Jonathan Garfield

Thursday, June 19, 2014

Where the Waves break

I want to make love with you
That's true, one time before I die
I want to feel my breath on you
I want to hear you sigh
I want to wrap my arms and legs around you
And feel you rush over and over like the tide into me
I want to walk with you along the beach
That's where I want to be
Come with me and take my hand
We'll make love upon the sand
Where the waves break
On the line between a woman and a man

(c) Colleen Lloyd
February 11, 1993

Tuesday, June 17, 2014

Could Have Beens

Sometimes all you're left with is why 
Questions you stare like holes into the sky 
And God is cruel 'cause he's not there, there's no reply 
Only what could have been.

And there's no going back, no rewind, no erase 
The lines you slashed out with are left, too, on your face 
The tears you wouldn't cry have dried you up in place 
Of love that could have been. 
And what is real and what is a lie
Will just be buried like a settler who died
And left you wondering o'er his grave 'bout who am I
And life that could have been.



(c) Colleen Lloyd
June 17, 2014 9:30 PM
Hurricane, Utah

Sunday, June 15, 2014

Thanks, Dad (Father's Day 1988)

Dear Dad;Thanks for the memories
They're here in my heart
And I know you and me
Will never, never part
Thanks for the melodies
In warm summer days
Thanks for giving to me
In your special ways

Thanks for the smiles
And the joys
And the toys
Every Christmas
And Easter
And birthday

You made the best you could
Thanks, for the while
We've been together
Will always be good

Thanks for the card, Dad
Thanks for the back yard, Dad
Thanks for the call, Dad
Thanks for the rides and the trips to the mall, Dad
Thanks for the love when things are hard, Dad
Thanks for it all, Dad
But most of all, Dad
Thanks

(c) Colleen Lloyd 
Father's Day 1988

Tuesday, May 20, 2014

Silent Swings

A young sun sky
A sigh blue day
And faces waiting, wondering at the world.

Children sit in silent swings.
Little hands hold still chains.
Shoes stop in the sand.

A smooth spring wind
A warm green way
And faces staring simply at the girl.

Somebody's got to push the swings. 
(c) 1989 Colleen Lloyd
teaching at Creative Academy of Learning 
Arcadia, California

Monday, May 19, 2014

A Higher Mind Delivered


For my mental health
They stripped me of my Will
Negated it and dignity
Made my life a living hell
Though I didn't feel I was living...well
Now three and one-half years later
I am going to get down on my knees and thank God
I am free of it now
I can see it, how
(S)he has delivered me out of the hands of my enemies.
It's taken that long to feel that
I am, at last, from that
72 hours.
Or was it longer?

Whole.
Still,
Contending with everyone
In this fight for the survival of myself
Real or imagined?
It's all the same.
The brain, when you dream
Can't tell the difference.
It remembers the experience.
My God.
And mine beaten and battered beyond its humanity to cope
Tried,
Like my old truck
To obey the divine-self,
Self-belief's commands to
Forget, refuse, deny
When its job was to record it.

Still, the Higher Mind uses the other as it Will,
As it Will turn out.
And I kiss the steering-Will
Of my old truck
And rest upon it
When the world is
Still
Under us
And we rest together upon it
Still
To a Higher Mind
Delivered.

(c) Colleen Lloyd
at Mom's cabin
Cedar City, Utah
about 1986

Sunday, May 18, 2014

Step Aside

Let the hollow of your first steps
Follow in your father's footsteps
Pen and footprints leave life's traces
Write and dance, no man erases
Where your heart will mark its path.
Recount the miles, then do the math...
The tracks he laid were still your guide
After you said, "Dad, step aside."
-(c) Colleen Lloyd
1997
For Alexander, firstborn son of my good friend and attorney John Donahue
RIP John
Ryder J. Richie's first birthday party, May 17, 2014 Washington, Utah