A Tower of Strength

A Tower of Strength

I don't want to be a tower of strength,
I want to be a woman.
I don't want to stand at the awards altar of the TV church
And be a survivor, in control of my emotions at my celebrated,
Long-awaited moment,
I don't want to be the Grand Coulee Dam.
I want to let them flow, to be overwhelmed, to let them happen to me
Like the Columbia River,
Along for the ride
Like I've been since a child.
I don't want to be a celebrity,
To live up to myself,
Be shot in the back,
To live up to someone else
Who's looking through my garbage.
And although I could
I don't want to be Audrey Hepburn
Picture-perfect, though she did it so well...
Rita Hayworth in her time will tell you the same thing.
And although how swell it would be to be Lucy
Or Bette Davis or Midler or Carol Burnett I'm sure it's hell
To be Colleen is all I ever wanted
And all I ever was
And all I ever will be.
A tower of strength.

-Colleen Lloyd
September 11, 1994
Las Vegas, Nevada