Your Long Black Mane

How can I forget you
When even the limbs of the trees I turn to
For solace’s release
Whisper your name
And the breeze caressing their leaves
Is so like your fingers
Rustling light over my skin
As you breathe into me your spirit’s desire
And the memory of you
Upright under your long black mane
That first night on my bed
Moving together in smooth matching rhythms in the dark
Lingers
Like the smell of your sweat on my sheets
Where I left the dry comfort of my peaceful desert
To dive so freely into
Then fight
The salty-sweet waves of your love
Now crashing down my face

- Colleen Lloyd
2002 Kayenta
home again

One Thousand Years

If I could scream one thousand years
It would not be enough
To quench the pain, dry up the tears,
Close up the wounds of love

If I could sail one thousand seas
And fly one thousand days
Another universe would not
Prove far enough away

If I could sing one thousand songs
If I could die a thousand deaths
The stench of poison lingering on
Would wait for the new breath

If I could see one thousand miles
The danger still to come
A thousand walls I'd build and still
I'd never feel at home

And if I dare to scale the wall
One thousand times, a thousand men
Could not repiece if I should fall
This broken heart together again

Release my soul, unlock deaf ears
And force the coos from doves
If I could scream one thousand years
It would not be enough

- Colleen Lloyd February 17, 2000

I Must Keep Your Memory Alive

I must keep your memory alive
So in the early morning hours
When my mind is healing
Floating
Gliding on sleepy waters

Like a skiff for one
Rocking gently pulsing with the
Rhythm of love's peaceful swells
In between the tides
When the chill of dawn seeps down upon my arms
Above rest's blanket and I realize too soon I can't hold on

I must keep your memory alive
So when the spell signals dissolve
And my restless heart beats quicker
Like a tiny bird discovering it suddenly lies
Captive in the hands of gods who lift it
From its secret nest
Not knowing what the danger of the day brings

I must keep your memory alive
For it is still within your arms
That I was safe and home although
You're in the land of dreams and spirit now
And you keep floating farther still
With every storm
With every natural cycle of come and go
Your shadow on horizon smaller, distant
Til the darkness settles deep over the deep
And in that silent unfathomed world
Where only true devotion's sails still venture

I must keep your memory alive

- Colleen Lloyd
February 14. 2013
Just now (7am)
In bed
Hurricane, Utah

I miss you Dad and everyone in my past
Even if you are still here
You still become a memory
I will hold onto

In the Middle of the Night

There's so much I have to say to you
In the middle of the night
So many dreams and visions waiting to come through
When the feeling is right
If I could look into your mind and finally see the truth
I'd die of fright
In the middle of the night

It would scare me
I can hear you say right now
It would scare me
Baby don't you go there, get out

It's a cave of screaming demons you may not escape
And it's driven me to madness and to create

In the middle of the night
In the middle of the night

There's so much I want to play with you
In the middle of the night
So many stories we could be living like freaky fools
But it's getting light
Oh yea we'd dance around the fire, throw away our shoes
And hold on tight
In the middle of the night

It's so much I want to stay with you
In the middle of the night
And if you call me in that wild way and love me too
I just might
Come on it's getting colder getting bolder, gotta do
What isn't right
In the middle of the night

Just isn't right
In the middle of the night

- Colleen Lloyd
Just now in the middle of the night
March 7, 2013

A song for all the wild nocturnal beings out there prowling in the middle of the night heehee

Virtual John Trudell

 

I love to see what JT is gonna write
In the middle of the night
And if I'm hanging at that party when the master's words flow
Then I'm the first to know
Amazing time when we can watch through virtual windows
Of anyone's once private minds from outer space
And catch the vision as the seeds sprout fast in time lapse
Without earning that feather and place beside a teacher
Great as him. Amazing tool to spread the inner truth
We used to grow organically in trusted circles, press into vinyl,
Chisel in stone, always ahead of slow technology in days when
In the flesh was warm reality where we lived and even black light
Was more natural than this unearthly sterile glow we breathe our souls into
Like a matrix, a play world where even the most privileged intimacy
Counts for nothing
Really.-Colleen Lloyd
Just now
March 6, 2013 2:27 am
My brother's birthday